Six Months In

It's hard for me to comprehend that my youngest is almost seven months. He's closer to a year than he is to being a newborn, and he's almost been earthside, in my arms, longer than I carried him inside.

JohnDavid at birth.

So how's life you may be wondering. How is the transition from one child to two children?

Honestly, some days it is a breeze. Some days the planets align, my kids are happy, laid back, easy-going and I think "Oh man, I'm super mom. I should have more kids!!" Then most days it's 4pm and I'm in my pjs and my kids are dumping out dog food or painting the carpet and I'm refraining from calling the doctor to request a tubal. Those days are simply that...just "those days".

JohnDavid, taking a nursing break.

I was lamenting to Philip a few days ago that I never get to finish a cup of coffee without having to reheat it. Ever. Morning coffee was my "time" when it was just Andrew and I. We snuggled in bed....he looked at his books and drank his milk or nursed, and I drank my coffee while reading to him or while we watched a show.

Not so much now. JohnDavid is WAY to busy to snuggle in the morning. He needs to go, go, go....go after brother, go after Bella, attack the cords to every.single.item.that.has.cords, and topple off the bed head first. And he laughs this loud, manic laugh as you try to prevent him from destroying everything. Have I mentioned he can't quite crawl yet?

So I put my coffee down and I forget it while I break up yet another fight between Andrew and "scratchy boy" (as Andrew has so affectionately nicknamed him.)

And the day goes on like that.

The differences between JohnDavid and Andrew are astonishing to me. They are like night and day in their differences. So in a lot of ways it is like learning to be a mother all over again.

Something are easier. Breastfeeding is easier this time around. Sleep (um, lack of sleep) is a bit easier this time around. I find that *most* days I am a bit more centered, patient and gentle. My confidence from "been there, done that" has increased.

Somethings are much harder. Getting everyone ready and out the door. Housekeeping. Feeding myself. Basically any type of self-care is much harder. Finding time for my husband.

Overall, this transition has been smoother than I expected. I think this has happened for several reasons. JohnDavid is a happy baby and easy-going, though extremely busy. His desposition has really helped make things smoother. Also I gave myself a huge break in expectations. I still keep up with my housekeeping schedule, but I take the weekends off. I exercise, but if I miss a day I don't care. I purposefully plan quick, easy meals several times a week instead of long, drawn out detailed meals. Thanks to Pinterest, they are still just as yummy! My husband is working a new schedule so we spend the mornings together before he heads to work after lunch.

We are happy and enjoying life. Today the boys sat on the floor and played together for almost an hour. I folded laundry and browsed Pinterest, enjoying watching them interact. I'm looking forward to more times like that.

And maybe as we have more times like that, my confidence will grow more and we can go from two kiddos to three? Hmmmm.....

My wonderful, sweet, happy, silly boys.

Whip it good!

So, digging coconut oil out of a jar is kind of a pain. With or without a spoon. 

But it's easy to fix that. 

That's that.

It makes a good base for lotions, homemade toothpaste/deodorant, diaper creams....

So, simplest, easy way to make coconut oil easy to use daily. You can buy containers at Hobby Lobby or any craft store really. Or just spoon it back into the jar.

Oh, and in case you don't know why or how to use coconut oil, check out the wonderful blogs by Hybrid Rasta Mama:

333 Uses for Coconut Oil

Coconut Health

Okay, enjoy!

Silence Revisited

Earlier during December I said I was going on a FB break to offer silence for time to mourn. I also wanted to process some of the emotions I was feeling.

I signed off on Tuesday night. Wednesday I spent with my boys. We cleaned, cooked and I found it refreshing to just focus on my family. That evening we went to bible study where my husband did a short talk about courage. It really stuck me because I wondered how much of my life I spent being silent because I was afraid of what others would think of me, if they'd be mean or not want to be friends anymore. I reflected on my recent FB decision to be silent and wondered if it was for the right reasons. Lots to ponder.

The next morning I was awoken by my oldest throwing up on me. (Nothing will get you out of bed faster, I promise!!) he had a high fever and for the next eight hours he threw up every forty minutes. It was heartbreaking and I was needing advice, so I logged onto Facebook to "consult the hippies". (That's what my husband calls it when I ask my friends for crunchy/natural medical or parenting advice.)

Upon logging on I discovered I had five messages in my inbox. All of them needed to be answered soon.

I also had been the recipient of a generous gift from the lovely ladies at the Natural Parents Network in honor of JohnDavid's birth, so I felt it necessary to thank them immediately, because it was something I was incredibly touched and thankful for receiving.

And in the midst of dealing with vomit, replying to friends and thanking friends, it hit me -- I can't avoid social networking. I'm too social. I'm about a extroverted as you can get, and the idea of me avoiding a website where the majority of my friends were active was laughable. I'm shamed faced to admit that this hasn't occurred to me before.

However, I do think there is a time for silence and mourning. And I think there is wisdom in bowing out when you feel overwhelmed by a subject, as I was feeling. Whatever your cause is, spouting off in anger doesn't do much to help it.

I want to be honest and I want people to know who I am. I want the confidence to post about things that I feel strongly about without being attacked. Positive, respectful disagreement is always, always welcomed. I don't want to be surrounded by people who think *exactly* like me. But I do want to be surrounded by people who are thoughtful, regardless of their differences.

So, I apologize for not thinking this through.

Sigh. Back to blogging. And Facebook.

A Time for Silence

I joined Facebook during my fourth year of college. I was attended Western Kentucky University and a friend at Oregon State mentioned Facebook to me on, wait for it, AIM chat. At that point in time, Facebook wasn't really well known, you could only join if your college was listed and you could only join groups associated with your university, there were no status updates, homepage, walls, picture albums......it was pretty bare bones.

Over the years I've gotten to see Facebook change and grow and not once in the past seven years have I wanted to take a break from Facebook.

Until now.

On Friday we saw evil. I'm not going to repeat what happened, we all know.

Since Friday, every time I have logged onto Facebook I've had the following reactions: anger, sadness, disgust or "Wow...that's stupid." I've seen rumors, I've seen fingers pointing (it was guns, it was mental illness, it was autism, it was because he was homeschooled, it was because he was circumcised, it was because his mom was a survivalist, etc, etc, etc). I watched as the media, so anxious to be the "first to report", gave the world false facts and updates that were never fact-checked.

I'm not going to lie, on Friday I was so distraught I blasted off my own opinion on "the fix" without giving a thought to the fact that people were mourning and crying, their hearts breaking, parents facing a nightmare that no parent should ever face...just days before Christmas.

I've tried to focus on my family. I have my personal FB page, as well as the blog Facebook page, and I try to share updates that make people smile. My kids do silly things so I share an "Andrew-ism" or a picture of JD smiling. I love to bake so I post recipes or snap a picture with Instagram. Not only do I like to share these things, I love, absolutely love, seeing this updates from others. I want to see my feed full of kid and food pictures. I want to see recipes, links to articles my friends find interesting, I want to hear what funny things have happened lately with other families.

But right now, I can't share these things and act happy. I really can't. I'm a very sensitive person. I do my best to hide it but it does not take much to reduce me to tears. I don't know anyone directly involved with the tragedy in CT. I know someone who knows someone....that's about it. But I can't shake this feeling of "Now is not the time to be overly happy and excited." I feel so much overwhelming grief for those involved.

I also feel a lot of anger. I am angry at the media for sensationalizing everything. I'm angry at those who want to make this about gun control (or lack thereof in their opinion), I'm angry at those who say this is "God's revenge" because we have turned from Him, I'm angry at those who want to blame autism or homeschooling or survivalists. In the midst of all of this, the victims and their families are being forgotten, they aren't being given privacy or time to mourn in their own way. It is so frustrating....and I keep getting sucked into it all.

However, it is Christmas. My son's eyes light up every time he sees the Christmas tree or hears the name Santa. He has asked me several times over the past few days why I am sad. It seems that anytime I am feeling better and enjoying things, I get on Facebook and my thoughts immediately go to CT. I am so overwhelmed with everything that it is distracting me from my family.

Today the NRA, after days of silence, released a statement with the following words:

"Out of respect for the families, and as a matter of common decency, we have given time for mourning, prayer and a full investigation of the facts before commenting."

Regardless of how you might feel about the NRA, I find a lot of wisdom in their words. 

So I'm going to abide by them too for the next few days, maybe longer. I need to focus on my family, my children and my husband. I need to be baking and creating and visiting. 

I'm not going to deactivate my account, I'm just going to take time to gather myself away from all this. 

Much love to everyone and happy holidays!

Weekend Project - Couch Makeover!

This weekend I accomplished a project I've been wanting to do for at least a year. I recovered our couch cushions!

My husband bought this couch from Big Lots when he moved to Texas. He had a limited budget, an apartment to furnish and Big Lots was close.

When we first started hanging out, he invited me over one night to watch a movie. I made him brownies and he decided we should watch The Descent. Since we were just getting to know each other, he was on one side of the couch and I was on the other. Maybe 15-20 minutes into the movie I flew across the couch and buried my face in his shoulder. From then on, whenever we watched a movie, we sat close to each other. So, even though the couch is cheap and not the best material, it has a lot of sentimental value.

Plus....I prefer to fix something if possible. And we have a dog and two small kids. Buying a new couch just seemed like a really dumb idea. We can get nice furniture when the kids are older. ;)

Last summer I noticed the couch was "peeling". Between a dog who I'm pretty sure camps out on the couch when we are gone, and a toddler, it was only a matter of time.

Peeling and Rips

Kind of sad looking.

Covered with a blanket to prevent further ripping/tearing.


 

Then last October we discovered some huge rips in it. I had plans to make covers for it but the holidays hit, then I got pregnant and very sick, then the couch went into storage for six months while Philip was away at tech school and Andrew and I lived with my parents.

So...now we are here and fixing the cushions was priority number one. Last week I went to Hobby Lobby and picked out fabric. Fabric was on sale for 30% off, and I got three yards. I also picked up upholstery thread, new sewing machine needles and zippers. All my materials cost less than $50.




Yesterday I started sewing. JohnDavid however is having a growth spurt or something but, he is nursing every five minutes. So I only finished one cushion. Over the course of the day, I finished the other two. After JohnDavid and Andrew were in bed, I put in the zipper on the last cushion and collapsed in relief. Yay, new couch!

I had to separate the dots from all going the same way because it hurt my eyes when they were. 

Close up of the fabric.

I have a pillow in the recliner that has these colors, and then I have enough extra fabric to make another pillow, probably for the little wooden bench by the fire place. 

I'm pretty happy, I love how it turned out!

The next project.......cloth blocks as a gift for JohnDavid for Christmas!