Sunday, February 26, 2012

The Natural Parent "Model"

Welcome to the "I'm a Natural Parent - BUT..." Carnival

This post was written for inclusion in the carnival hosted by http://theartfulmama.com/2012/02/half-planning-a-natural-birth/The Artful Mama and http://naturalparentsnetwork.com/natural-parent-but/ Natural Parents Network. During this carnival our participants have focused on the many different forms and shapes Natural Parenting can take in our community.
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You know those pictures going around Facebook right now? The ones that have a group name at the top, then pictures of how different groups perceive that group. My favorite picture in all of that is the "What I think I Do". They all make me giggle, because the picture of "What I think I Do" is a glorified, picture-perfect idea of oneself. We all see ourselves that way on various occasions, some more than others. I don't generally think it is a bad thing to think of oneself in the highest regards, as long as you have a firm grasp on reality.

If I were to make one of those posters for myself, as a natural/crunchy/hippy mom....the "What I Think I Do" and the "What I Really Do" wouldn't be that much of a difference. My child wears his amber necklace, we eat a pretty healthy diet consisting of organic and free-range foods (most of the time), we co-sleep, my son self-weaned and wore cloth diapers, I'm planning a homebirth, I boycott Nestle, we practice gentle discipline...most things in the little "crunchy mom" bubble is me. So no...my reality wouldn't be too different....unless it was just a close-up of my face, hair or nails.

I'm admitting it right now. I'm a natural parent - BUT...I love my cosmetics and beauty products. The crunchy version of myself sees me with my hair in its natural state, long and flowing. My face is bare, just a smile and some pink from the natural absorption of vitamin D. My nails with a little bit a dirt under them from digging in our organic garden, my feet barefoot and wet from dancing outside celebrating the earth. Um...the reality is that I've watched one too many episodes of America's Next Top Model and read one too many issues of Glamour and I know how to do make-up, hair and nails. And you will not see me in public without those things in perfect to near-perfect condition.

I know the reports and the research. I know the chemicals in the foundation and lipstick, I know the studies linked back to all various ailments and extra limbs and eyes and whatnot, but I can't help myself. I walk past Sephora or any make-up counter and I'm drawn in. I have a love affair with Christian Dior mascara, Urban Decay eye shadow and Chanel lipstick. And it's not just high-end brands...my make-up bag(s) are filled with Cover Girl blush and a million and one Wet 'n Wild nail polish colors. I'm not a brand snob (okay, except with the mascara but really...try it and you'll never go back!)...I look for fun colors, good bargains and something new, something maybe even the runways in Paris haven't seen yet? 

I'd love to tell you that if you look in our bathroom shower you'd see apple cider vinegar, baking soda and maybe a goat's milk shampoo bar. That's not the case. My favorite shampoo is Frederic Fekkai but it is expensive so I rely on coupons to get other brands -- anything from John Frieda to Suave has been in my shower. I like smells and shampoo and conditioner that gives my hair volume. I'm a Texas girl and we fully believe in the "Higher the hair, the closer to Heaven" motto. The after shower products include a hair dryer, a straightener and some products that make my hair shiny, soft and sleek. And yes...with plenty of volume. 

I'd love to tell you my bathroom counters are bare, just some coconut oil for moisturizer, some homemade lotion and a few essential oils for scents. Well, you would see the coconut oil (and avocado oil...both are GREAT for dry skin, FYI) but you are also going to see about 3-4 bottles of lotion from Victoria's Secret and several bottles of perfume. Vera Wang's Princess is at the top of my FAVORITE perfume ever. 

And then of course there is the matter of my nails. Not trying to brag but I've had nail technicians at local salons ask where I received my training. I haven't had all. Major thanks to Pinterest and a steady hand, my nails look pretty awesome. And no, no dirt.

I'd like to give some deep seated reason for why I have this fascination with make-up. Something like I've always been a bit overweight and make-up is one size fits all (once you find the right look for you) unlike clothes, or that I was taught that a woman's worth is found it how she looks (I wasn't) or I wanted to be Miranda Kerr (that's probably true though), you know, something deep and philosophical like that. But there really isn't a reason other than the fact that I'm girly and frilly and this is something I enjoy. I don't think it makes me less of a "natural parent" to enjoy something that isn't exactly "natural". 

When I found out I was pregnant with my son and my husband and I began leaning more towards a "natural" way of life, the crunchy police didn't come visit me and say "You have to meet every single criteria on this check list or you can't be a natural parent." I wasn't told I had to stop wearing my dear cosmetics, I wasn't told I had to breastfeed or co-sleep, no one expected me to go into the woods and give birth to my child with woodland creatures watching in awe. We adhered to the principles that we felt meshed with our current lifestyle and beliefs and went from there. 

Every parent makes choices. We, as other parents observing from the outside, aren't in their shoes. We don't know what circumstances may have led a mom to choose formula. We don't know why some parents may choose some vaccines, why co-sleeping isn't practiced at their home. And on less serious issues, let's not judge the mom or dad who's child is eating chicken nuggets at the La Leche League meeting or the mom who uses disposable diapers. As long as we are respecting our children, loving them and paying attention to their needs, who cares if mom wants to push her child in a stroller or let her child sitting in the cart play a game on the iPhone while she grocery shops?

I claim the title "natural parent" regardless of my addiction to cosmetics, the Girl Scout cookies in my pantry and the plastic toys my child adores. I claim it, I proudly wear the title, and I'll raise my favorite OPI nail polish in honor to it!





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I'm a Natural Parent — But … Blog CarnivalThis carnival was created by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. We recognize that "natural parenting" means different things to different families, and we are dedicated to providing a safe place for all families, regardless of where they are in their parenting journeys.

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon February 26 with all the carnival links.)

15 comments:

  1. Right there with you, girl! I love me some OPI and I rarely go out without my makeup done. The crunchy police didn't come to my door either ;) So, I'll just keep on living as crunchy as I am, and as girly as I want to be!

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  2. The natural brands just need to open up cosmetic counters to lure people in - it's hard to shop for cosmetics online! I don't do anything but Clinique mascara for sensitive eyes, and Cover Girl blush. I used to love my high end shampoo too, but I've been using Beauty Without Cruelty and am super pleased!!

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    1. I agree! I would definitely pay the money for more natural/healthy cosmetics if they were readily available! I live in a HUGE city and even here there aren't many places where I can TRY out the make-up, which is a big deal.

      I've not heard of the Beauty Without Cruelty brand, I need to check it out! :)

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  3. Okay, now that you've made this confession, I need you to give me a make over! I wear make up too, everyday, and also refuse to go out without it. I've been known to put on foundation after having a baby... I feel bare without it! But, I want to go beyond the basics and I love nail polish... NPN make over maybe? :)

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    1. Make-overs sound like a blast! I'd love to do them!! :D

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  4. When you get done with Laura's make over, I want one too. ;p Seriously, I really do live bare-faced, bare-nailed, and limp-haired, but it's more due to not knowing how to do any of the stuff without it taking hours than my crunchy ideals!

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    1. There is a fabulous tutorial I found awhile back that shows how to do a great day-to-day look in less than 10 minutes, it's really simple. I will try to find it! But if we happen to have an NPN get together again and I get to actually go, I'd love to do make-overs! :D

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  5. I try choosing cosmetics with natural ingredients, but I'm very far from using cider vinegar and baking soda in the bathroom... Can I have a makeover, too? (I think you've just got yourself a new business :)

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  6. Such a well-written, thoughtful post! I could just envision the beauty products sprinkled around the house and love how you frame your desire to wear make-up as not at all a threat to your natural parenting focus. The two are clearly not mutually exclusive!

    -Kerry @ City Kids Homeschooling

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  7. We cant be NL crunchy in every aspect of our lives. I totally respect your need for those cosmetics ( I feel the same way about hair dye)

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    1. Oh...I love hair dye too. This past summer my hair had hot pink in it, I loved it but the bleach did a number on my hair! It has taken several applications to get it back to my "normal" brownish color...and there is still all varying shades of pink left. So worth it though! :D

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  8. Ha! This post was great. You, my dear, might be my EXACT OPPOSITE in this way. And you know what? I love it! If the entire universe wore dreads and smelled like patchouli and ylang ylang (like I do), it would be mega-boring. I've never heard anyone write so wondefully about make-up and perfume. My bathroom counter IS the empty counter, except for a few essential oils, and I found this post to be hilarious and wonderful and inspiring (especially the end).

    High-five, friend, high-five.

    xo

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  9. "My face is bare, just a smile and some pink from the natural absorption of vitamin D" LOLOL This reminded me of a bad romance novel where the woman is frolicking in the sun, nary a concern in the world, looking perfect without trying..hahah. Great, funny post.

    I enjoy my cosmetics too, and my daughter sees me putting it on every day and I refuse to feel bad about that, either. I'm NOT teaching her that we need to use makeup - I'm teaching her she's wonderful no matter what she does, be it bare faced or Mac-faced. ;) And to be strong in her decisions and relax and enjoy life already.

    Now for a few answers please!! What is this about Pinterest and nails? Are there instructionals I'm missing out on? Please share! And what is the name of the Dior mascara? I'd love to try it! ;)

    ~Carrie

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    1. Pinterest has quite a few instructional videos for nails (and hair). If you click on the hair and beauty section (or maybe it's beauty and hair) there are all kinds of tutorials for nails, hair, make-up...it's amazing! :D

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  10. I also have an obsession with the glamorous. I can trace it back to my favorite television show as a child Jem and the Holograms with their fabulous hair and fashion. I actually get giddy when I go into Sephora and am overwhelmed by the all the choices of color and textures. More natural cosmetics simply do not have the same glam factor and that makes me sad because I would love to wear less toxic makeup but it isn't as satisfying if they aren't as WOW as the average products out there. That's why I think I am more crunchy on the inside, adhering to the values of natural parenting while looking fabulous too!

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