The Natural Parent "Model"

Welcome to the "I'm a Natural Parent - BUT..." Carnival

This post was written for inclusion in the carnival hosted by http://theartfulmama.com/2012/02/half-planning-a-natural-birth/The Artful Mama and http://naturalparentsnetwork.com/natural-parent-but/ Natural Parents Network. During this carnival our participants have focused on the many different forms and shapes Natural Parenting can take in our community.
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You know those pictures going around Facebook right now? The ones that have a group name at the top, then pictures of how different groups perceive that group. My favorite picture in all of that is the "What I think I Do". They all make me giggle, because the picture of "What I think I Do" is a glorified, picture-perfect idea of oneself. We all see ourselves that way on various occasions, some more than others. I don't generally think it is a bad thing to think of oneself in the highest regards, as long as you have a firm grasp on reality.

If I were to make one of those posters for myself, as a natural/crunchy/hippy mom....the "What I Think I Do" and the "What I Really Do" wouldn't be that much of a difference. My child wears his amber necklace, we eat a pretty healthy diet consisting of organic and free-range foods (most of the time), we co-sleep, my son self-weaned and wore cloth diapers, I'm planning a homebirth, I boycott Nestle, we practice gentle discipline...most things in the little "crunchy mom" bubble is me. So no...my reality wouldn't be too different....unless it was just a close-up of my face, hair or nails.

I'm admitting it right now. I'm a natural parent - BUT...I love my cosmetics and beauty products. The crunchy version of myself sees me with my hair in its natural state, long and flowing. My face is bare, just a smile and some pink from the natural absorption of vitamin D. My nails with a little bit a dirt under them from digging in our organic garden, my feet barefoot and wet from dancing outside celebrating the earth. Um...the reality is that I've watched one too many episodes of America's Next Top Model and read one too many issues of Glamour and I know how to do make-up, hair and nails. And you will not see me in public without those things in perfect to near-perfect condition.

I know the reports and the research. I know the chemicals in the foundation and lipstick, I know the studies linked back to all various ailments and extra limbs and eyes and whatnot, but I can't help myself. I walk past Sephora or any make-up counter and I'm drawn in. I have a love affair with Christian Dior mascara, Urban Decay eye shadow and Chanel lipstick. And it's not just high-end brands...my make-up bag(s) are filled with Cover Girl blush and a million and one Wet 'n Wild nail polish colors. I'm not a brand snob (okay, except with the mascara but really...try it and you'll never go back!)...I look for fun colors, good bargains and something new, something maybe even the runways in Paris haven't seen yet? 

I'd love to tell you that if you look in our bathroom shower you'd see apple cider vinegar, baking soda and maybe a goat's milk shampoo bar. That's not the case. My favorite shampoo is Frederic Fekkai but it is expensive so I rely on coupons to get other brands -- anything from John Frieda to Suave has been in my shower. I like smells and shampoo and conditioner that gives my hair volume. I'm a Texas girl and we fully believe in the "Higher the hair, the closer to Heaven" motto. The after shower products include a hair dryer, a straightener and some products that make my hair shiny, soft and sleek. And yes...with plenty of volume. 

I'd love to tell you my bathroom counters are bare, just some coconut oil for moisturizer, some homemade lotion and a few essential oils for scents. Well, you would see the coconut oil (and avocado oil...both are GREAT for dry skin, FYI) but you are also going to see about 3-4 bottles of lotion from Victoria's Secret and several bottles of perfume. Vera Wang's Princess is at the top of my FAVORITE perfume ever. 

And then of course there is the matter of my nails. Not trying to brag but I've had nail technicians at local salons ask where I received my training. I haven't had all. Major thanks to Pinterest and a steady hand, my nails look pretty awesome. And no, no dirt.

I'd like to give some deep seated reason for why I have this fascination with make-up. Something like I've always been a bit overweight and make-up is one size fits all (once you find the right look for you) unlike clothes, or that I was taught that a woman's worth is found it how she looks (I wasn't) or I wanted to be Miranda Kerr (that's probably true though), you know, something deep and philosophical like that. But there really isn't a reason other than the fact that I'm girly and frilly and this is something I enjoy. I don't think it makes me less of a "natural parent" to enjoy something that isn't exactly "natural". 

When I found out I was pregnant with my son and my husband and I began leaning more towards a "natural" way of life, the crunchy police didn't come visit me and say "You have to meet every single criteria on this check list or you can't be a natural parent." I wasn't told I had to stop wearing my dear cosmetics, I wasn't told I had to breastfeed or co-sleep, no one expected me to go into the woods and give birth to my child with woodland creatures watching in awe. We adhered to the principles that we felt meshed with our current lifestyle and beliefs and went from there. 

Every parent makes choices. We, as other parents observing from the outside, aren't in their shoes. We don't know what circumstances may have led a mom to choose formula. We don't know why some parents may choose some vaccines, why co-sleeping isn't practiced at their home. And on less serious issues, let's not judge the mom or dad who's child is eating chicken nuggets at the La Leche League meeting or the mom who uses disposable diapers. As long as we are respecting our children, loving them and paying attention to their needs, who cares if mom wants to push her child in a stroller or let her child sitting in the cart play a game on the iPhone while she grocery shops?

I claim the title "natural parent" regardless of my addiction to cosmetics, the Girl Scout cookies in my pantry and the plastic toys my child adores. I claim it, I proudly wear the title, and I'll raise my favorite OPI nail polish in honor to it!

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This carnival was created by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. We recognize that "natural parenting" means different things to different families, and we are dedicated to providing a safe place for all families, regardless of where they are in their parenting journeys.

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon February 26 with all the carnival links.)

• My kid is a technophile — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction hasn't turned in her natural parenting card yet, even though her son prefers electronic toys
• I'm a Natural Parent, but...I use medicine! — Adrienne at Mommying My Way admits that while she hesitates to do so, sometimes she does give her son some medicine when his symptoms get really bad.
• I'm Only Half Planning a Natural Birth — Shannon at The Artful Mama discloses how she is planning her semi-natural hospital birth and still dares to call herself a Natural Parent.
• Why we aren't rear facing — Shannon at Pineapples & Artichokes talks about her decision to turn her one-year-old daughter's carseat around, and how the argument always given for extended rear facing makes her feel.
• Musings of an Almost Crunchy Momma — Valerie at Momma in Progress re-examines her list of natural parenting litmus tests.
• Natural Parenting Does Not Equal Perfect Parenting — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama admits to several not-so-natural parenting and lifestyle practices.
• 10 Reasons to Revoke My Natural Parent Card — Laura at WaldenMommy: Life Behind the Red Front Door discusses why some of her less-than-crunchy practices are better for her family.
• I'm a Natural Parent - BUT... MacNCheese is Awesome. — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy reveals her penchant for some far from healthy eating, cheap food recipes.
• Crunchy on the Inside — Wolfmother at Fabulous Mama Chronicles muses about how the stereotype of a natural parent does not do justice to the very dynamic group that this parenting philosophy attracts.
• My Reality — Megan from The Other Baby Book confesses a few things about her parenting.
• I'm Crunchy But... — Christy at Mommy Outnumbered shares confessions on all of her "non" crunchy ways.
• I'm A Natural Parent, But...it took me awhile — It took Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling awhile before fully understanding and appreciating Natural Parenting.
• I Am Not a Perfect Natural Parent — Momma Jorje shares her dirty little secrets as a mostly natural parent.
• Crunchy, But Not Crunchier Than Thou — Instead of comparing yourself to others, Dionna at Code Name: Mama encourages you to give yourself permission to be as crunchy as you can for right now.
• I’m a natural parent but…I love bedtimes — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle would never let her children cry-it-out, but she has a selection of other methods to encourage early bedtimes.
• I'm a Natural Parent - BUT... — Lani at Boobie Time Blog believes that following the principles of Natural Parenting doesn't mean you fit a stereotypical mold of societal view.
• Confessions of a Low Supply Mom — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children confesses her insecurities about being a low supply mom.
• I'm a natural parent, but. . . — Not eating her placenta is just one of the ways Ashley at Mama Raw falls short at being a natural parent.
• I'm a Natural Parent But...I have a Few Confessions — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment strives to be a Natural Mama, but wait, she has a few confessions!
• I'm a Natural Parent BUT — Carrie at LoveNotesMama confesses her gratitude for disposable diapers.
• Intestinal Dissection — Melissa from White Noise talks about how imperfection can be beautiful when it is buffered with love.
• How much sugar is too much? — Tat at Mum in Search shares how her no-sugar policy evolved into a balancing act, with the balance point not where she'd like to see it.
• I'm a Natural Parent, but. . . — Amyables at Toddler In Tow talks about three of her parenting habits that are not super "natural."
• Minus Ten Crunchy Points — Joella at Fine and Fair discusses how some of her parenting choices seen as "too crunchy" by those she knows in real life could get her kicked out of the crunchy mom clubs online.
• The Natural Parent "Model" — Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World talks about her love for not-so-natural cosmetics and beauty products.
• Nice to meet you. — Eileen at Love & Greens talks about how being a natural mama means something different to her every day.
• I’m a natural parent…BUT… — Ashley at Daisy Pedals touches on several natural parenting topics; from cloth diapers to cleaning with natural cleaners.
• I'm a natural parent, but you'd be surprised — Lauren at Hobo Mama confesses to liking diet soda and TV and having lost all her reusable shopping bags.
• I’m a Natural Parent, but…. I don’t shop local — Luschka at Diary of a First Child confesses one of her greatest 'natural' failures - she doesn't shop local and support her community, despite wishing she could.
• Who You Callin' Natural? (a Carnival of Natural Parenting Contribution) — A bit of premise exposition, some tongue-in-cheek filler, and a photographic list of all the ways Embrita Blogging cheats at being natural.
• Dirty Secrets of a Green & Natural Mama (and Why I'm Not Afraid to Share Them!) — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares her definition of what it means to be a perfect mama as well as a few of her dirty little secrets.
• Green Mommy Guilt — Jen at Jen and Joey Green talks about how being a perfect Green Mom is overrated.
• Life Coping Devices — Amy at Anktangle discusses two ("non-AP") coping strategies her family has used for getting through difficult times with her son: the pacifier and the stroller.
• We use disposable diapers. There. I said it. — The mama at Our Muddy Boots shares a bed, nurses her 4 year old, is vegetarian, and is committed to homeschooling; but Pampers adorn her child's bottom. Ugh!
• Committed to Cloth, but... — Sheila at A Living Family affirms her love of cloth diapering, despite the draw of disposables.
• Natural Parenting as a Doorway to Deep Truths — Amy from Peace for Parents guest posts at Natural Parents Network and shares how for her "natural parenting" is much less about a definition and much more an avenue to explore truths of life.
• Chicken No-nos — Jessica at Pace Family Place strives to live naturally but feeds her oldest son some not-so natural things